Grocery List: Mayonnaise & Vinegar

My worst nightmare....... Did I mention that Florida isn't kind to my hair?  Well, I had no idea how UNKIND it would be...

Yesterday, after school pick up for Olivia, she was scratching her head while playing in the playroom.  I told her to come to me so I could look to see if her scalp was red (months ago, her very first allergic reaction to tree nuts began with an "itchy head" which quickly turned into full body massive hives).  I saw what looked like dandruff but was sticking to her hair..... I did what every smart mother does, I called MY mother.  She diagnosed us over the phone with "head lice".   I wanted DESPERATELY to doubt her since she was hundreds of miles away but honestly, I knew she was right.  Then, I called the school nurse.

(INCOMING TEXT FROM A FRIEND FROM HOME:   Holy #%&!.....  the preschool just sent home a note saying that there is a reported case of HEAD LICE!!!)

Current school nurse said:  "Doesn't sound like head lice to me but take her to your pediatrician".  FABULOUS - we don't HAVE a pediatrician.... off to "urgent care" we go.  Little does everyone know, I consider this to be an URGENT matter!  We walk into "Med Stat" only to find a waiting room FULL of people.  I whisper to the receptionist "I'd like to have my daughter's head checked".......  She replies with a very concerned/serious look "What are her symptoms??"   I then reallize that she thinks that there's a legit problem with her HEAD and I said (a little too loudly) "OH, she's just scratching... I'm afraid it might be head lice!!"

After 40 minutes of waiting, scratching, staring, distracting Olivia.... someone calls our name.  Long story short - the "technician" takes us into a dark room where he looks at her hair for about 3 seconds and says "yep, it's lice".  He then proceeds to tell me "be glad it's not body lice, believe me... that's worse!  ever heard of scabies?  yep, everything comes from china now..... ya gotta get you home and BURN EVERYTHING!!!  ok, ma'am...  go wait in that room and the doctor will see you".  WHAT FOR??  You've confirmed lice, why do we have to see a doctor???  

We wait.  Doctor enters the room with rubber gloves and a headlamp with a magnifying glass and immediately comments on all of Olivia's tatoos ... (he must have seen the look of fear on her face and mind you, she's got them tatoos everywhere, even on her chest!)  He tells her how COOL she is and how much he likes her taste in the horror, halloween choices she secretly pasted all over her body in the bathroom two days ago! 

After  looking thoroughly through her scalp, he says "I don't think this is lice.....  but let's get you some treatment (shampoo) anyway... it can't hurt, repeat in 7 days"..

YAHOOOOOO!!!!!!!
I take her home, shampoo her head confidently ~ "ha ha ha... soooooo glad this isn't lice!  can't even imagine how awful that would be.... it might send me over the edge, I don't think I'd get through it given everything else I have going on" (as my head starts to itch).   I take her out of the bath and follow the instructions on the box (apply combing gel to the hair and proceed to comb out the "nits/eggs/blahblahblah"..)   Oh, well!  Why not?  We've got time....  

BAM!  WE'VE GOT A CRAWLER!!!!!!!!!  OMG, we've got TWO CRAWLERS!!!!!   "ADDDAAAAMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!"

Everyone comes running.... (well, Luke and Adam).  I'm yelling "OH EM GEEEEE, I SEE BUGS!  THEY'RE ALIVE!  THEY'RE CRAAAAWWWLING!!!!  STRIP THE BEDS, PILLOWS, MATTRESS PADS, THROW EVERYTHING INTO THE HOT WATER!!!!  COMBS, BRUSHES, THROW THEM INTO THE DISHWASHER, NO!!!!!!!!!! THROW THEM IN THE TRASH!!!  NO!!!!  FIRST INTO A ZIPLOCK BAG, THEN INTO THE TRASH!!!  CHECK THE DOGS!!!!!  LUKE, COME HERE  "NOOOO, MOOOM!!!  I DON'T WANT BUGS!!!!!!'

Olivia couldn't have cared less.  She just stood still as I proceeded for hours to pick little white things (nits/eggs) out of her hair.  I think I found a total of 3 crawlers.

The night went on with conversations like this:
to my mother:  "mom, i'm finding HUNDREDS of them".....
to my friends:  "seriously?  kill me"
from adam:   "MUMS THE WORD... don't TELL ANYONE.... send her to school, this NEVER happened..... "
from me:  "yeah right.... she'll sit in circle time tomorrow and share "then we ALL used this special shampoo and my mom picked BUGS out of my head ALL NIGHT!!!!"
from me sister (who was with us for a week):  "I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!!"

THEN THE TEXT CAME IN:  (background:  my friend Kristin texts me all the time and Adam intercepts my phone and writes nasty things back to her....she finally has him figured out)
K:  CALL ME ASAP!!!!
N: (well, Adam)  Can't you take the hint? How many states do we have to move away before you get it, you douchebag"
K: IN NO MOOD FOR YOU RIGHT NOW, HAVE NANCY CALL ME PLEASE.

Aaaaahhhhh, so Olivia's little best friend from home must have head lice too.  THANK GOD!!!!  I am NOT ALONE!!!!

I finally dropped into bed around midnight, every bed had clean sheets, clean PILLOWS, clean pillow cases.... I washed 16 bath towels, shampooed 4 heads, checked 2 dogs, sprayed 2 carseats, sprayed the couch, vacuumed every floor twice and scratched my way through the whole night.

So far, Liv and I both have "stuff" in our hair.  Adam is off to the grocery store as we stay home and spa it up today..... first a mayonnaise head wrap (this supposedly kills the ADULT lice) and then we finsih it off with a vinegar shampoo (this kills the baby lice)..   JUST IN CASE THEY'RE NOT ALREADY DEAD!!!    Crap, after all my screaming and running around like a mad-woman, I'd be shocked if they didn't drop out of our heads on their own. 

Where did it come from?  Who knows?  It's at her preschool up north and on the same exact day, (11 days after we moved to FLA) Liv and her best friend both have it.  I haven't yet called her new preschool here.  Not sure how to raise the red flag??  (THAT NEW FAMILY?  YEAH, THEY HAVE HEAD LICE!")