Giving Thanks, with a grateful heart.....

I'm so slick..... no one does their grocery shopping at dinner time.  Why?  Well,  I imagine that most families in this neighborhood sit around their dining room table and eat dinner together while talking about their day, how much they accomplished at work, what the children learned at school and how much they are thankful for......  So sweet.   My family?  Luke eats with one butt cheek hanging off the chair, one dog begs, the other barks.  Adam is inhaling food like it's his last meal and spends most of the time refilling his plate in the kitchen and Olivia sings.  She makes up beautiful songs about people and corn and frogs and "the God" and Luke tries to talk over her.  She sings louder, he screams, she screams, he cries and I slam my fork down on the table.  Seriously?  I'm so glad I cooked! 

Anyway, I've gotten a lot of requests to keep blogging - how cute is that? Makes me happy, thank you.

We've been in Florida for 7 weeks and 2 days and guess what?  I think I'm gonna like it here....
When Ronda was visiting last week and your facebook newsfeed was BLOWING up with photos and status updates from both of us as we sat by the pool texting side by side (hahahaa... seriously - we're obsessed with social media of all types), we formulated a plan.  We had gone out to a "Ladies Night Out Shopping Night" and shortly after arriving and perusing all of the tables I decided - "OMG, Oh-Em-GEEE..... I'm going to have one of these at my house!!!  Why not?  It's what I do!  I spent YEARS in Beverly thinking up a new party idea, planning it and making it happen.  How many women came to my house, drank their faces off while snarfing down the goodies and yukking up the latest gossip/stories and screaming with hysterical laughter sometimes until after midnight?  (Remember poor Sue when she opened my Yankee swap gift - sorry Sue, thank god those panties fit Dana!)  Nothing was EVER more fun and I miss it terribly...... I miss you ALL terribly, but life goes on - doesn't it?   So we decided that I should host a massive ladies event (go figure) and invite every mom in Luke and Liv's class plus all the ladies that I've met in my development plus a few that I haven't met but have seen and think they look like they can hang.....  phew!  I think we have about 100 people on the list.  I have 10 vendors coming to sell their "stuff" whatever that may be........ SO FUN!  I am excited and nervous all at the same time.  I NEED THIS!  I need to be gathering beauties for food, wine and shopping and then, only then, will I feel home.   Just kidding, honey - I know I'm home, you know what I mean....

Ok so, here's why I am thankful this month, this week, this day........ I SO married the right man.  I  know, SO CHEESY... but seriously.... I am thankful for him.  We work together, in this house, all day, every day.  It gets a little, um..... suffocating at times.  Can YOU imagine being with ME all the time like that?  I told you in my last blog post that I'm crazy.... well, he does it and he is pretty good about it.  Being down here, with no friends, he gets an even bigger dose of me.  I knock on his office door, oh.... about 496 times a day.  Did the mail come yet?  Can you empty the recycling?  Wanna see this picture of the dog?  OMG, Moose peed on the lanai, can you clean it up?  Can you rub my neck?  Can you scratch my back?  Do you want to lay out by the pool at lunch?  Can you open this?  Can you close this?  Where's my phone?  Where's my shoes?  Can I buy this?  Do you know what I need next?  A MOP THAT MOPS BY ITSELF!    Poor guy, it's a miracle that he has a successful business after all these years. 

Anyway,  we walk every day.... 4 or 5 miles a day.  He knows that if he exercises me, I'll be a little less crazy.  (by "crazy", you know I mean gregarious, sociable, happy and energetic, right?  ok, good.)   Since the day I met him, Adam has been committed to exercise, sports and strength, nutrition and good health.  A little of it has rubbed off on me, lately anyway.  So, the mornings go like this:  alarm goes off at 6am.  coffee is already brewed (yep, I set it at night).  I deal with the kids, he deals with the dogs.  He drives the kids to school (OF COURSE HE DOES, you didn't think THAT would change, did you??)  He comes home, we head out.  We grab the dogs and head down the street.  As soon as we exit the gate, the dogs go off-leash.   And we're off!  I'm not going to lie, some days he tells me to slow down - I am a CRAZY fast walker.. and a crazy fast talker.  I pretty much need a nap when we get home - I think that's the point.  

So while we walk, we talk.  We talk about how amazing our children are and how proud we are of them and how cute it was when Liv said this or how insane it was when Luke did that and oh my gosh, we are SO lucky.  We laugh about how they say things that embarass us and I confess how some things frighten me and how I wish I could keep them safe always. We are still the parents who gush and cry over our children and all that they've done in their short little lives.  We talk about how they are mini versions of us  (side story:  Liv said to me the other day "Mom, I LOVE when this house is clean".... I said "oh, ME too Liv!!"  She said "then get in my room and put away those clothes that are all over my bed!!!)  We think that they are perfect little people who are SO much better than us and how we want them to grow up with parents that love each other and never fight in front of them.  As much as I think I know everything,  Adam knows more than I do ..... he knows me better than I know myself.   While we were walking this past week, I realized that I really do love it here.  I look forward to our walks every day so we can chat and get strong together and this is something we never did back in Beverly.   We even look at our dogs and gush about how cute they are and how Maya is the "trail boss" and how Moose is getting smart enough to side step away from Maya's steamrolling.....  they are happy here, I swear they smile.  They sleep ALL day after those walks and I start my work with a clear head and a happy heart. 

I've been SO focused on how many things I miss back at home that I failed to realize how many things I'm falling in love with down here.  It's a beautiful place, the people are so warm and my children are happy.  They are eager to go to school each day and they're in pretty fantastic moods when they come home (most of the time).  My family spends a lot more time together and so much more time outdoors, you can't put a price on that.  I am a lucky lady that Adam knew better than I did, how great we'd all do down here. 

I'm cooking Thanksgiving this year, as I always do........ and I'm thankful for my husband, my dream guy who never gives up and always gives in.  It ain't easy being mine, I'm pretty blessed. 

Happy Thanksgiving!  xoxo

The Beast Within.....

This blog is turning into me exposing my ugly side....  so like, I expect to feel a little better when this post is done and I expect that people will hold me accountable for what I "admit to".   The nasty "week of the month" whereby I hate everyone and everything is here.  Wait, I think it's been here for a while now.   I legitimately have PMS - I think I was actually diagnosed with it and given drugs to take during that "week" (give or take a week or two) when I feel and act nasty.  I wonder if anyone else can relate?  Adam spilled the sugar this morning - BIG MISTAKE!   Luke needed to be wiped this morning "WIPE YOURSELF! YOU'RE SIX YEARS OLD!!!"  Olivia wanted to wear purple shoes with her dress "THAT DOES NOT MATCH, think again little one.....".    Moose, humping Maya "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???  I FIXED YOUUUUUUU".... whose idea was it to get these stupid dogs??  (insert crazy pill here), "awwww... puuupppyyy..... my best girl, come here and give mama a snuggle")  I AM a Gemini, afterall....

Adam says as he's walking out the door to drive the kids to school, "hey babe, the pills are in the medicine cabinet - take 2."   Most people who really know me, know I take ativan when I need it.  Probably because I still have anxiety that stems back to the "heart days".  I'm not afraid to admit that I take drugs, hell, I'm not afraid to admit anything - obviously.  I just wonder when the time will come that I don't "need" them anymore.  I feel very anxious these days..... I am SO mad because I was doing SO well up in Beverly.... didn't need ativan at ALL until the "move" started.  I was SO much better at controlling any sort of anxiety that started to creep in..... now bam!! it's back. with a vengeance. damn.
I want the kids in bubble wrap when they leave the house, I fear that there are perverts around every corner so I won't let the kids go to the end of the driveway by themselves, I watch them until they step inside the building at school (you're supposed to KEEP MOVING, Mrs. Stanley.....), I hold my breath at "pick up" until I see my children..... this whole outside the building thing makes me very uneasy.  "Don't walk in the grass with bare feet - RED ANTS, REMEMBER???"  "Don't get too close to the edge of the water, YOU MIGHT FALL IN!!!"  I get up  in the middle of the night to check all the doors to make sure they're locked, I'm crazy.  I married a man who is the complete opposite.  Sometimes I feel like I have to think for both of us - it's exhausting.  Truly.  And it's my fault. 

Anxiety is a crazy thing, eh?  It creeps up and then starts to take over your body.... like an intruder.  My chest gets tight so I obsessively check my pulse, my teeth clench which causes my face and neck to hurt.  I stand tense which causes my back to lock up.   And then, I get a 45 minute phone call from  London, or Kristin or Dana..... and I'm all better.  I'm walking like an 85 year old woman though..... NICK!?!?!?!?!

I have to keep laughing.... it's the best treatment.  My Ronda is coming tomorrow for a whole week and I can't wait.  I need a good healthy dose of girlfriend right now....   CAN.NOT.WAIT!!!  Eeeek!

I can't tell you how AWFUL it is to be so far away from my girlfriends though..... it's the very worst part about this.  When I started my gold business, they all jumped in and hosted parties for me.... when I started my photography business, they all jumped right in and posed for fun.  When I needed help with the kids, the move, the yardsale, EVERYTHING, I never had to ask for anything - they were all right there...  Ladies, you keep me going and I'm SO lucky to have you in my life ... near and far.  xoxo  Now get your asses down here for a girls weekend!!!

It's not all bad though, I must say... I'm beginning to love my home, love my town, love the kids school and LOVE this weather.  It's gorgeous... breezy and cool in the morning and at night.  Pool weather during the day.  I'm SO happy to have my in-laws here... they're cool people who can hang.  What's better than that??  Oh, that they babysit!!  Wooo-Hoo! 

AND.... even better,  we have some new friends.... Carol and John..... They live in our development. They're from Staten Island and has a wicked accent that I LOVE to imitate. They have twin 4-year old boys and you know I'm clinging to them like a fly on poo. They make me laugh SO hard, she's obnoxious and hilarious like I am. (you know I'm funny)..... She tells me to shut up, she tells it like it is and is helping me shop for bargains. They have a sick sense of humor and I'm already falling in love (consider yourselves warned, Vickerys). We're like the Cable Guy, all of a sudden...

(that's right, Vickery.... whether you like it or not..... we will be friends!)

Aaahhhhhh........I feel better already, thanks for reading :)