Warning: Controversial Blog Post! (Ding Ding)

Wondering if I could implement a new "must do" in 2013..... drop your cell phone off in a bucket when you enter my house.    Is it facebook?  Instagram?  Words with Friends?  Bejeweled Blitz?  Text?  Email?  WHAT is in that little electronic device that has completely turned us into non-conversationalists?   

As of today..... I am SO sick and tired of the attachment people have with their phones.  (oh, and before I continue - I make MYSELF sick with this one.  I am guilty and writing this blog just so I can be held accountable) Conversations are so broken, interrupted and distracted these days.  What is wrong with these stay-at-home-moms who can't put their phone down for a minute - WHO IS TEXTING YOU?   My mom is a real estate broker, her phone dings every 5 seconds.  She HAS to take phone calls, I get that - she works 24/7 and she works from home so she really never gets any time off.  (Momma, you're off the hook)  But for the rest of you, what is so important that you can't put it your iPhone down and focus on people for a minute?   It's so sad that even my children will call me out on it.  I have a few girlfriends who legitimately do not put their phones down when they're with me. (if you think this is about you, well then it probably is!!)   The phone goes "bing bing"...... it's TORTURE.  You have to look.  You have to slide open the screen to see WHAT possible response might be waiting for you.  

I am going to challenge myself to detach.  My biggest problem is that someone pours me a beautiful cocktail and I immediately have to go grab my phone, open instagram, attach a witty title and send it STRAIGHT to facebook.   Living life behind the lens.....  Or my son walks in the room and shows me something he just built...  "WAIT!  Luke, do that again..... I want to take a picture of it.  Smile, no... not like THAT, come ON.. do it right!"   And then, the next hour is spent checking the comments that get left on that photo... HAHAHA, wait - what did I miss?  Did someone say something to me?  Oh, sorry... I was looking at my phone. 

Here's the best part.... those friends of mine?  The ones who can't put their phone down for five minutes while they're with me?  They don't return my text messages.  Strange huh?  Is it just me?  I have to believe one of two things - either you are ONLY rude when you're with me or else you are ignoring me.  Neither one feels good.   Don't be mad at me for writing about this.  You know it's true and as a society, chiropractors must be making a KILLING on our neck problems from CONSTANTLY being in a down position!!  Ok, off my soap box for a bit while I go charge my phone.  Need to have it with me for New Year's Eve, I don't want to miss anything!!!  xo

My Baby is Seven.........

Every year, on Luke's birthday, I write him a letter.  More for me I suppose, but I'd like to think that he'll treasure these notes someday.

7 years ago today, I was 36 lbs overweight, stretched out beyond my body's natural capacity, unable to turn over in bed, unable to see my feet, unable to eat anything but popsicles....We walked through a parking lot in the pouring rain after my ob appointment to the movie theatre to see War of the Worlds...... pretty sure it was the violence in that movie that made Luke decide it was time to make his entrance into this world - 9 days early.  I will tell you this - I knew NOTHING about life or even love back then.  NOTHING.  Tomorrow, the greatest blessing in my life is turning 7.  How is it even possible that I've managed not to break him? 

Adam and I constantly reminisce about the first days as new parents.  SO scary.  I mean, no one was as psycho as I was - it's not possible.  I hit the panic button, even though I had waited my WHOLE life to be a Mom.... it's another story when you actually bring that little thing home, right? 

Just after my 2nd heart procedure and the removal of my thyroid and the balance of medications, I actually had a doctor tell me "ok, you're healthy. for now."   I told Adam, "I'm healthy, I don't know how long that will be (there was a strong chance that the VT would come back) I want to have a baby".  He was like "um, ok.... can I think about it?"   I said, "yes, of course.... let me know by tomorrow, 'kay babe?"    After a couple of babies that God decided to keep, we found out in late October, 2004 that we were expecting a baby and this time, he made it past 3 months!  When you're "trying" for a baby, you often know the SECOND you become pregnant - thus making it a VERY long 9 months to wait.  Especially for me, the psychotic, neurotic, worrier that I am. 

We went to birthing classes, breastfeeding classes, baby boot camp classes.... we wrote our birth plan, the loving words we would say to each other during labor, planned for the music and mood we'd set in the room, practiced walking, bouncing on the ball - yeah right.  That's all crap.  The water broke, the hell started, everything leaked out of every hole, I puked, I pooped, I cried, screamed and as the epidural went in, I bit down hard on the nurse's shoulder. Nope, there was nothing glamourous about me that day.  However, it was the most amazing day of my entire life and I'd do it again and again (if the staff at Beverly Hospital didn't have my picture up in labor and delivery with a big red X through it). 

Anyway, I'll never EVER forget how he felt when they put his hot little body in my arms, still attached to me, he was perfect.  Seriously - I had no words.  None.  I still have no words when I watch him sleep, watch him play, listen to him laugh, watch the expressions on his face change with his every emotion.  How is it possible that WE, as imperfect as we are, made someone SO perfect? 

Anyway, I am pretty sure I held my breath that entire 9+ months because I completely fell apart after he was born.  That first night at home was scary - I cried when it was time to leave the hospital because I was afraid I wouldn't know what to do with him - he was so tiny, so fragile, so.......... strange?   I really had NEVER held someone so small (6lbs 5oz) and I was terrified of him.  I couldn't take my eyes off him.  I forced Adam to stay awake while I slept so that one of us could always keep an eye on him, just in case something happened.  I was so overwhelmed with my new role as protector and I wanted to be nothing short of perfect at it.   It had taken me SO long to have him, I didn't want to lose him. 

Anyway, he showed me a thing or two!  He was ALWAYS still there when I went in to check on him.  Really??  Has anyone ever gone through this?  I used to hold my breath each time I went over to see him, it was tiring!  I am pretty sure that I was going through some severe PTSD from all of the crazy heart stuff...... I just wanted him to stay safe.   (read the heart story here)   PTSD - a story for another day!
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He was an amazing one-year old.  Very curious, always happy and screaming with delight.... just to hear his own voice.  He threw everything he picked up, he tried to run everywhere and he refused to pass the "ferberizing" test.  (well, it was most likely us that failed at that one). 

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At two, he had a new baby sister, learned to bat a ball off the "T" and started taking regular wagon rides around the neighborhood with Daddy.   He was talking non stop and very curious about Yivvy and everything she did.  He learned how to climb out of the crib and therefore got into a big boy bed!

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When Luke turned 3, he started preschool, stopped wearing diapers, taught his sister everything he knew (including how to dance) and caught his first fish on Daddy's boat! 

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At age 4, Luke learned how to ice-skate, played his first league sport, decided he wanted to be batman and went to the dentist for the first time - with perfect teeth!! :)

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FIVE years old and off to Kindergarten!! (along with a trip to California and Aruba!) Age 5 came complete with sleepovers, playdates, soccer, t-ball, beach time and fun with friends!  Luke also had to say goodbye to his very best friend in the entire world as her family moved to England.... he's VERY excited to be reunited with her this summer :)

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Year SIX and a HUGE year of changes!!!  Luke got a puppy, we moved to Florida, started a new school, made new friends, lost his first tooth (and then his second one), learned to swim, started Sunday School and developed a new passion for Soccer!   WOW. 

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Our Beautiful Boy......  you have accomplished everything your little 7-year old heart & soul has set out to do and Daddy and I are so very proud of you.   It's an honor to watch you grow into a sweet, strong young man.  We don't take ONE day for granted and we stand here, full of love and pride and appreciate every little part that makes up all of you!  You are our little superstar.  Happy 7th Birthday, we want all of your wishes to come true!  We love you....  Here's to a BIG YEAR!!!

The Big Move North!

So, it's true..... we're leaving the gorgeous vacation land that we've been enjoying for the last 8 months and heading back to Beverly, Ma.  Sounds insane, doesn't make sense, people are all up in arms and badgering.... why ,why, why, why, why?????  "You're being impulsive", "I thought you were LOVING it down there?", "This doesn't make sense", "There must be something WRONG", "What are you not telling us"?? 

Before you get your hair in a tizzle, you can continue believing what you read on Facebook.  I love it here.  What's not to love?  We live in a beautiful place inside a fabulous community with people we LOVE. 
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Tracie, my beautiful friend down the street is a NUT and I can pick up the phone at any given time and bang out a 30-minute conversation with her about 49 different topics and then say "oh-what the hell, grab a bottle of wine and just come down here.... with your 3 kids.... and we'll finish chatting while they swim".  She has a laugh that honestly can NOT be matched.... she's the ultimate queen of the juggle in or out of utter chaos and makes life look SO easy. At any given time, I can walk into her house and find her in the midst of planning some ginormous event that will absolutely be nothing short of phenomenal and she pulls it off without a hitch. I have learned SO much from this woman... I'll never be like her but I love to watch her work and every once in a while I get to steal her for coffee or cocktails or lunch!  When I told her we were moving back North, she cried and said "fine... you have to tell my kids!".  And, THAT, is just another reason why I love her.
 

 

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Jen.  I have never met a person more "like" myself than this woman.... She calls before 7am. pulls up in the driveway in her larger-than-life-pimp-tinted-black suburban to grab a bottle of water for her son's lunch box, races him to school and then comes back to drink coffee with me while we chat for an hour or more about everything.  She's been my biggest confidante down here and the christian influence that I've been unknowingly craving for the last 10 years of my life..  I can truly be ME all the time, everywhere and she loves me.  We've mastered the art of the "drop-in".... and we're ready, all the time, waiting for each other to knock, ring, barge in.

 

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Heather, who by all means necessary was destined to be my girlfriend. I heard about her through Denise (you MUST meet Heather, she's a photog like you, very sweet, has kids at PCE, etc....) Sure, sounds good.... I login to Facebook, find her, friend her. End of story. Love at first sight. I love this woman (as I love all of my girlfriends).   Girl after my own heart, always in heels, sees beauty everywhere she looks.  She treats me like it's her pleasure in life to connect me to everyone and everything that this place has to offer.  I love this woman so much, I loaned her my camera this week.... and she broke it.  xoxo

              

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Amanda, who moved here from England (TWICE because the first time, she just wasn't sure this is where she wanted to be).  I could listen to her talk about pure crap for hours with her beautiful, demure accent that I LONG to imitate (I'm told by her mate that it's my English accent that's pure crap).  She's as spontaneous as they come and always ready to make a plan, always up for anything! They are a family like no other down here, we've spent time sitting around adoring our children, drinking our faces off, cooking for one another, talking about our past/present/future and already feeling so sad to be leaving each other.  There WILL be a ski trip planned for January so all you northern folk will get to meet the Brits!  WOO HOOO!!!!!  (here she ~ 3 Generations....Amanda, Madeleine and her "Mum")   Why I have no more pics of this woman is BEYOND me.... She is absolutely gorgeous on the inside and out.... Now, Madders (who I love like my own), I have a million pictures of that little one - I'm sure you recognize her!

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Angela, who also moved here from England... another accent I LOVE to sit and listen to for hours.  This stunning woman finds the time to NAP a bit each day and I have learned from her that the secret to being so put together day and night is to give back to yourself... It's not selfish, it's critical ~ we live in a time when everything is GO GO GO and those of us who are stay-at-home-mothers end up offering our time & energy to every volunteer organization that we can possibly fit into a daily schedule and if we don't take time out to recharge, we will fail.  She is the picture of health, success and grace. (now get back here so we can party before I leave!!!!)

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Tara, who just moved here from Miami and already knows WAY too much about me.  Softspoken and laid back until the animal is released!  (I've seen her hit the floor)  Pretty sure I was separated at birth from this woman although we don't look that much alike...... she has the most HILARIOUS laugh and I love to bring it out of her.  It blows my mind the way she thinks of everything, surprises everyone and never forgets a single random fact that you may have half-mentioned to her.  Tara is absolutely the most thoughtful person I've met down here.

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I am totally guilty of over-using words like "fabulous, amazing, blessed"... I really am blessed and the friends we've made down here really are fabulous and amazing. These woman (and others) have opened their hearts and homes to us and I can only hope that I've been able to offer them a little something in return.  We have so much fun together and this time in Florida could have been a completely different experience and led us to a completely different outcome and reason for returning to Beverly.  

We want to buy a house.  Down here.  In Palm City.  We're heading north for a few reasons.  First and foremost, we have 2 properties up north that need a little love and attention.  One of them, our first condo in Beverly (all 1300 square feet of it) will be our home for the next few months.  CRAZY.... I shudder to think of us all squished up in there but for now, I have faith that this family lands well and makes the most of every minute no matter where we are!  Secondly, the thought of buying a house in a place we've only known for 8+ months is a little scary - so we want to be sure that this is where we want to be!   The kids are BEYOND thrilled to be going home to see their friends and to go to school at Cove.   The rest is sort of up in the air and we'll know when we know!  I am excited to be in Beverly and I know I'll be excited to return to Palm City.  We're here for another 49 days and we'll continue to get out and about and make new friends.  It's what we do! 
Thirdly, I have been denied health coverage down here (only me, the kids and Adam are all set) due to my many pre-existing medical conditions - number 1 & 2 being my heart and my Graves Disease.  I am anxious to return to my docs up north to get a clean bill of health and get back on our old health care.  You can't imagine how it has felt to be living without it all these months.  My first heart surgery alone was over a million dollars. (thank you, bcbs)  Scary. 

There, confused?  Great... we are too.   Everyone's #1 question:  Didn't your MOM just move there???  Yes, she did.  She LOVES it here and is already rockin' the real estate market.  She'll be excited to have us return as well but for now, she's supporting us 100%.   My dad & Fran are coming down here on 7/24 to take the kids and me and our 2 vehicles on to the AutoTrain.  We'll head up the east coast, stop in PA and then drive the rest of the way to MA.  The kids are bursting with excitement to sleep overnight on a bunkbed in a little cabin on the train.  How fun is that???  I'm so grateful for the help since my back can't handle the drive all that way.  (Nick, this is where you come in!)

More later.... for now, the eyes are drying up!

xoxo