Why am I here? A gentle reminder to myself.

So, I woke up on the WRONG side of the bed today.  I just said to Adam "I hate it here".  I just posted on Facebook, "I hate it here".  It must be real.  I believe that I post things on Facebook partly to keep myself accountable.  

I can honestly say that in the almost 5 years that we lived in 10 Atlantic, I made the most of every single day there.  I partied like it was always going to be the last event.  I hung pictures like I didn't care if the walls would fall down and I opened my door to any and everyone.... I loved it. 

I remember when we bought the house though.... it was in need of serious tlc.  It was December 2006.... We had a 1930-40ish style kitchen that had rusted aluminum cabinets and a linoleum floor.... we had 42 old glass windows that rattled every time someone drove down the street, we had a depressing yellow paint on every single wall and it was cold.... we had oil heat that didn't quite make the house feel warm.  The basement was like something out of the Blair Witch Project. There were no pictures hung on the walls, there were no window treatments except for the 3 old curtains that shredded in the wash when my mother tried to clean them.  There were a few old, torn shades that had to be manually rolled up or down.  The staircase was LONG and uncarpeted which made it scary for our little wobbly walker.   My husband hated it.  He wanted desperately to move back into our cozy 3-bedroom condo with water views...  I was pregnant with Olivia, had hideous heartburn, sciatica and morning sickness that lasted 24 hours a day.  I was also SOOOO happy to have this beautiful house that needed to be turned into a home.  Check it out.

(looks like someone had a soda problem!)

(I'm trying to find a photo of what we found UNDER those cabinets the day we pulled them out)

I had a dishwasher on WHEELS! It hooked up to the sink faucet.... oy.

We slowly started making improvements.... big ones.  Switched from oil to gas, got a new furnace and 42 new windows (delivered and installed by my dad & Adam).  We fenced in the yard and had our old stone driveway turned into blacktop for premium bike riding.  We picked a color for our living room.... then the playroom.  Then the hallways.  I painted Luke's room in a Saturday and Adam painted Olivia's room on a Sunday.... Then we called in a friend to help us with the entire exterior, the dining room and the hallways.  We renovated the kitchen and built a 2nd bathroom where there was once a butler's pantry.   

My Dad is quite amazing...... he is turning 65 this year and he works physically HARDER than any man I know.  He came to Beverly any time I needed ANYTHING done (since 1991)... from repairing old cars, rescuing me from troubled situations (another blog for another day) from demolishing old kitchens (we've done 2 now).... to installing kitchen cabinets... to knocking down a wall to expand a room... to fixing the locks on my doors... to insulating our hot water heater.... to replacing boards on the exterior of our house... to removing and replacing every single window in our entire house..... all while entertaining and involving my two children and cooking meals for us every day.  He gives me SO much crap and expects me to read his mind but I'm the best 2nd hand he's ever had and I'm certain that he'd hire me to take his crap and work hard for him ANY day!  He hung one of my drawer handles crooked just to piss me off.... cuz he can.  Thanks Dad.  He gets mad at us because we never have the right tools and we're always "missing a part" but he knows how to jury rig ANYTHING and knows enough NOT to touch anything electrical :).  He drove my minivan down to Florida for me and cooked up a massive polish storm for us when we arrived.  He figured out the solar heat in the pool, he spent 4 hours taking apart an old futon couch left behind by the previous owner (just so we could get it OUT of the house!)  He drank all of our beer, bitched about the cold air conditioning and has called me 29 times since he left just to check in on me to make sure everything is going well.....  Love you, Dad... couldn't have done any of this without you.   (we're working on getting EVERYONE to move to Fla...)  by then, I'll be heading back to Beverly ;)

And on his birthday,  my dad got Liv to try polish kielbasa!  She loved it of course!

WOW!  I got SO off track....lost in some funny photos!  All this to say, this house was not much of a "home" when we moved in... it took a LONG time, years for it to be just how I wanted it.  I certainly didn't entertain in the first 6 months I lived there (except for Sarah, Ruth & Emily of course)... I wasn't proud of it then.  It took a while and a LOT of trips to HomeGoods to get it just right.  Even when we moved out, I'm sure it wasn't perfect, but it was perfect for me. 

Here I am in a new house.  It's comfy and fairly new.  My photos are slowing going up on the walls, my candles are burning with fall flavors and my pandora plays happy songs while I sip on tea.... yeah, weird?  I started drinking tea.  Not sure why.... it reminds me of  Kristin back at home, it's the only time I ever really drank tea ~ and we'd be snuggled under a blanket on (separate) couches gossiping or whatever...... it's what I miss most.  :(

This morning, I helped Adam build his new desk in his office/the guest room.  It looks nice, actually.  We'll hang pictures later tonight and he's got his buddies from sports radio hanging out in there with him.... I can hear him laughing while they talk about the Red Sox eating fried chicken, playing video games and drinking beer .....  His view looks out at the pool, he's happy.  That makes me happy.

Olivia just came home with a stack of beautiful art projects!!  She is growing up SO much... she wants to do "homework" every day so I have been digging out these old Kindergarten math and phonics books (of Luke's) and she sits for HOURS, I do NOT lie.... she LOVES it.  Gifted perhaps?

Shame on me....... I have a beautiful life and a beautiful family who are all healthy and happy.  I am on an adventure that will most definitely eventually lead me back north... until then, I am kicking my own tail for being such a brat.  Things could always be worse.  At  least my playroom looks EXACTLY the same as it did in Beverly :) 

xoxo